


Hold On Tight

by A Magiluna Stormwriter (ariestess)



Series: Strength to Try [4]
Category: Babylon 5
Genre: Bechdel Test Pass, Community: halfamoon, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-02-05
Updated: 2010-02-05
Packaged: 2017-10-28 05:21:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/304199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ariestess/pseuds/A%20Magiluna%20Stormwriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Talia's POV for the events of "Thirty Minutes".</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hold On Tight

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Merfilly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Merfilly/gifts), [shaych_03](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=shaych_03).



> Date: 5 February 2010  
> Word Count: 962  
> Written for: [](http://halfamoon.livejournal.com/profile)[**halfamoon**](http://halfamoon.livejournal.com/) 2010  
>  Written for: [](http://merfilly.dreamwidth.org/profile)[**merfilly**](http://merfilly.dreamwidth.org/) & [](http://shaych-03.livejournal.com/profile)[**shaych_03**](http://shaych-03.livejournal.com/)  
>  Summary: Talia's POV for the events of "Thirty Minutes".  
> Sequel to: ["Hope"](http://ariestess.livejournal.com/986355.html) & ["Thirty Minutes"](http://ariestess.livejournal.com/1020428.html)  
> Spoilers: This takes place 2 ½ years after Control was discovered.  
> Warning: Established lesbian couple. Don't like it? Don't read it.
> 
> Disclaimer: “Babylon 5,” the characters and situations depicted are the property of J. Michael Straczynski, Babylonian Productions, Warner Brothers, etc. They are borrowed without permission, but without the intent of infringement. This story is in no way affiliated with "Babylon 5,” J. Michael Straczynski, the production companies, or any representatives of the actors.
> 
> Author's Notes: The title of this song, and some of the inspiration, comes from the Joan Osborne song ["Crazy Baby"](http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/j/joan_osborne/crazy_baby.html), particularly the chorus. The song doesn't have a happy ending. The story? We'll see…
> 
> Author's Notes, Part 2: Anything denoted with _~italics~_ is thought not said.
> 
> Dedication: my muses, as always…
> 
> Beta: Currently unbeta'd, which means I reserve the right to edit this at a later date.

_~You're a sadistic bastard, Jason Ironheart.~_

 _~Flattery will get you nowhere with me, Talia. Now go.~_

Sighing softly, I take a last look around the quarters I've been using. No, I haven't been using them, _she_ has. I still feel entirely too tentative to do anything in my own skin without fear of tipping _her_ off. My clothes are the standard grey suit I've worn for years at Psi Corps, sans the black gloves that have practically been a second skin for most of my life.

I still have no idea whether we succeeded or not. I can't sense _her_ right now, but then Jason's been able to mostly mask her before. I want to be alone in my skin and in my mind.

 _~You'll never be alone, Talia.~_

 _~Oh, shut up, Jason!~_

There's something he's hiding from me, and I can readily admit to a healthy dose of fear at what it might be. Why won't he tell me if we were successful or not? Why do I have to wait before seeing Susan? Would he really take me to her if _she_ still retained any sort of power over my body?

 _~Jason, I can't do this. If we didn't succeed--~_

 _~Just go, Talia. Trust me and trust yourself.~_

The walk across the station is perhaps the longest walk I've ever taken in my life. Part of me wonders if it'll be the last, and I quickly change that train of thought, if only to avoid Jason's none too gentle censure. Every little detail is burned into my memory: the people, the smells, the sounds, everything. Until I'm standing in front of her door. My Susan. Oh god, I certainly hope she'll agree to be with me. If she refuses after all this time, I think I might well lose what little grip I have on sanity right now.

The door opens and all I can see is Susan standing there, hair down and framing her face just like I love it, with her weapon in her hand. She steps back as I enter the room, gaze boring into mine. The sight of John Sheridan behind her, weapon drawn startles me momentarily, but my eyes return to find the woman that I have loved despite such great odds raising and aiming her weapon at me.

"Susan?"

What on earth can she be doing? There's a flicker of recognition in her eyes, but she doesn't lower her weapon. I can sense John's distrust in me, thanks to _her_ , and I don't blame him. The sensation of Susan's shields dropping is a heady relief, but I don't dare move while there are two PPGs aimed at my head. A flicker of movement in the corner of my eye shows that she's starting to pull the trigger.

 _~Jason--~_

Before I know it, Jason swoops in to take dominant control, the intensity of his message practically a shout in my head. I don't know what the words are, but they're enough to stop Susan from following through. The PPG is suddenly lifted toward the ceiling as she throws her hands up, tears filling her eyes.

"Susan?"

John's voice startles me. Surprisingly enough, I'd almost forgotten he was here. _Almost._ With a fluidity of movement that has haunted me for the better part of three years now, Susan turns and throws her weapon at him.

And then I'm in her arms, crushed in a death grip that I gladly return.

I don't know how or when John gets past us and leaves. My whole existence is currently wrapped up in Susan Ivanova and the fact that _she_ is gone for good. Jason's even suspiciously absent from my conscious thoughts.

 _~You don't need me right now, Talia. You need to be with her.~_

"You tell Jason Ironheart that he'd better learn how to tell time before he decides to nearly get us both killed," Susan finally growls, pulling back to meet my gaze again. "He very nearly missed his deadline."

"You would have killed me," I reply softly, the reality of what just happened sinking in. "You thought I was _her_?"

"Ironheart worked out a failsafe with me," she explains, fingers caressing my face and hair over and over again, as if proving to herself that I'm really here. "He had a password to prove that the two of you had destroyed Control. He took his damned sweet time sending it to me."

"So that's why… Sneaky bastard!" The gentle chuckle echoes in the back of my mind, but I quickly forget it as Susan leans in to rest her head over my heart. The movement allows me to see the suitcases, realize that her quarters are even more sparse than I'd remembered. "You were going to leave?"

"If I killed you, my choices were to run or kill myself. I still don't know which I'd have chosen."

Horror at what she might have done brings tears to my own eyes and I hold her closer. "Thank god, we don't have to worry about that anymore." A shudder ripples through her body, followed by a bone-deep weariness settling over her. "But we can deal with that tomorrow. For now, you need rest. I bet you haven't slept in days."

Shaking her head, Susan moves toward her bedroom in silence. I stand there, unsure of what I should be doing at this point. The choice is made for me, when she returns to my side to lace her fingers with mine and tug me after her.

 _~Susan, are you sure?~_

I can't say the words, fearful of breaking the moment.

"No," comes her tremulous reply, "but I don't want to let you out of my sight again."

Who am I to deny the woman I love?


End file.
